6 more weeks?

Eli has been moving like crazy today, to the point where it's been pretty uncomfortable.  He is kicking my ribs a lot, which hurts, and apparently makes your ribs stretch out.  Awesome.

In other news, it's hot as a freaking mother outside.  Seriously.  I am done with summer.  Today I took Caroline to the pool and sat outside for two hours, and even in the shade I thought I was going to die.  I have spent the three hours since we got back to the house attempting to hydrate and stop feeling dizzy.  So far no success.  It also brought about more Braxton-Hicks contractions, adding to the overall excellency of my physical condition.

Now Rob is home so I guess I will make dinner.  And then continue to lay about in the air conditioning, undoubtedly the greatest invention of the modern age.

7 more weeks?

Today I had a doctors appointment, and I suppose it went well.  Eli is moving a lot and he's head down and ready to go.  Apparently I have also been having Braxton-Hicks contractions.  The doctors always ask if I've been having any contractions, and I always say no, because I don't really know what they feel like and every time I thought maybe I was having a fake contraction I would google it (of course) and it seemed like maybe I was, but maybe I wasn't.  But anyway, when my doctor asked me today if I had been having any I said, "I don't think so?  But this happens sometimes...." and she said yes, those are Braxton-Hicks contractions and it is good I am having them because it means my body is warming up to have this kid.  Unfortunately that means I lied two weeks ago to my other doctor, when he asked if I had ever been having any contractions, because apparently I did.

Other information on that front, I was measured "for real" this time (usually when I see the obstetrician/s, they just kind of eyeball my stomach and tell me I'm 'the right size') and I measure at 35 cm and if you are familiar with BEING PREGNANT, perhaps you are aware that the general rule for how you should measure is cm = number of weeks pregnant, meaning I am measuring two weeks ahead, since I am currently 33 weeks pregnant.  The doctor did not tell me this, but I obviously am indeed extra large, as people do not hold back from mentioning.  Maybe this means that maybe I am 35 weeks pregnant, because I would love to be done being pregnant sooner.

ANYWAY.

I had my first shower this past Saturday!  It was a "friends" shower hosted by my friend from college/roommate after college Danielle and Paige, Adele, Abby, Alysun, Jess, and mi madre all came.  Showers are always kind of awkward because it's literally a party just to get presents, and that's weird to me.  But anyway, all of my friends and family were very good to me and Eli has some super sweet stuff to look forward to once he exits the womb.  Paige even got me the lamp from my "baby wish list" post because she reads my blog and is sneaky like that!  Thanks Paige!  And Jarrod, too, I guess.  You guys are awesome.

Also, later on after the shower we were supposed to meet up with our friends Sam and Mindy, who are now living in Columbus, and see a movie, but later were informed that they did not make it down.  So Rob and I went to see Brave which was super cute obviously, being a Disney-Pixar film and all.

I thought today was going to be my last day babysitting, but apparently I am doing three more days next week.  Why can't I ever tell people no? whywhywhywhy

8 more weeks.

In eight weeks I am going to be someone's mom.

I mean, you could argue I am someone's mom right now, as ever since I found out I was pregnant I have been treating my body in a special way, to care for my child that is not yet born.   

It's pretty terrifying, actually.  I think as due day (month) draws closer, the more I find myself freaking out and worrying.  Apparently this is normal.  I keep wondering if we waited long enough, as we were only married just shy of a year and a half when I found out I was pregnant.  Did we have enough time to be just us?  Sometimes I feel guilty because I feel a little sad it will not be just us anymore.  I feel scared that I won't be a good mom, or Rob will be a disinterested dad.  I have petty fears like how destroyed my body will be after giving birth, and will Rob still be attracted to me?  I worry I won't have the energy to keep up with everything and when I'm tired I'm cranky and mean and how much of a strain will that be on everyone?  I worry about finances, since I will not be working and babies are expensive.  I worry that being a stay at home mom will be lonely.  

But, please don't think I am not extremely excited as well.  I am excited for this next step, and to see myself and Rob as mom and dad, and how we will be as a family.  I am excited to hold the baby for the first time, and to see Rob hold him.  I am excited to see what baby looks like, if he looks more like Rob or like me.  I am excited to see his personality, and later his interests.  Who will he befriend?  What sports will he play?  What music will he like?  I once joked with Rob that because of all the metal/hardcore bands we made fun of during The Beneath days, our future son is going to want to be in a band like that, and practice in our home.

I have fears about life changing, but I am excited for it, too.  Everything is going to change, but change is good.

baby wish list

So, I know I won't be able to get everything I want for Eli's room...but I can dream.  I am using a lot of things we/family already own to furnish the room (minus the crib, of course) but I have a vision for this place. Our basement is not even close to being done as things have been at a standstill for a couple weeks until we fix the issue with the garage (ceiling is crumbling and needs a support beam...yay) so I can't even begin working in there with all our things filling it that need to go downstairs.

Anyway...

I really, really, really love this handmade baby quilt from craftyblossom's etsy shop.  I mean, it has gnome fabric.  Come on.

One of Urban Outfitter's pin tuck pillows to put on the rocking chair.  I've been wanting one of these things forever but have been unable to justify spending $34 on a decorative pillow :)

Also from Urban Outfitters, this chevron rug.  I know these are super, super popular to have in nurseries right now and I guess Eli's is going to be no exception.

A vintage map!  I already have those vintage horse prints but I really want a vintage map to hang in there somewhere as well.  This one has crappy picture quality but it shows airline routes in 1967, which is kind of cool, I think.  It also ties in several of the colors I'm using throughout the room and I love how big it is.  This is from merifair's etsy.

A round side table.  For next to the rocking chair.  To put a lamp on.  I don't want to buy this for retail and I'm hoping to find one thrifting.

Also this table lamp, in tangerine.  I kind of love it.

I am really excited to get that little room together, when I can.  Don't worry, I'm sure I'll share plenty of pictures.  And maaaaaybe some of these items will make their way in there :)

bipolar

I feel like my entries in this thing are super polarized.  Last post I was awesome, this post I suck.  I got about three hours of sleep last night and I feel like complete crap today.  Yesterday was our 2nd wedding anniversary and it was stupid.  I was supposed to have a doctor's appointment but I was 15 minutes late and the doctor wouldn't see me.  I am getting a little bit too large for even my maternity clothes and I hate looking at myself in the mirror.  I need a haircut but I don't feel like paying $50 for someone to do it right.  Rob needs a car because I am getting really, really sick of driving him to work.  I feel like I don't have any control over anything in my life and on my worse days it makes me feel like I'm suffocating.  Blah blah blah blah blahblahblalblahblah.    Poor me.

Other, more random things: I recently found out my brother's high school girlfriend was 2nd runner up in the Miss USA pageant.  He always dates super pretty girls and I don't really know how he pulls it off.  Sadly I watched a clip of her giving an answer to something for like 5 seconds and I had to turn it off because she sounded like such a bimbo.  My other brother is doing an internship in Watford, England until October at a golf course.  This is freaking where the HARRY POTTER STUDIO is, people.  Also he saw Draco Malfoy golfing where he works.  Freaking lucky.   

about today

So today I drove Rob to work, ran errands at Target, grocery shopped for the week, did three loads of laundry, bathed and groomed our dog, mopped all the wood floors, swept, dusted, and otherwise cleaned the crap out of the living room, dining room, kitchen, bathroom, and our bedroom, picked Rob up from work, went to the gym, and then made dinner.  Also I'm 30 weeks pregnant.  I rule today.

it's cool.

YES!  It's June 1 and 60 degrees out.  In every other year of my entire life, this would tick me off; but today, I am very happy.

I babysat the past two days (for the family I worked for prior to little girl) and it has been so easy going, it feels like cheating.  Yesterday I took them to the swim club in Mt. Lookout for pretty much the whole day and today we went to lunch at Panera and then just hung out while they played with clay and made friendship bracelets.  Then we watched Mamma Mia (the youngest's FAVE, inappropriate) until their mom came home.  It was some easy money that I would otherwise not have.  Nice.

Now tomorrow Rob and I are going shopping for a new car for him.  One car is too obnoxious, and since I am going to be babysitting part time now in June it is especially annoying. Hopefully we find a car that's not a piece.  Hopefully.